I haven’t yet been raped- I am Lucky

We are all affected by the brutality of the gangrape. There have been a zillion reports and stats. The shameful and disturbing truth in the midst of all this hullabaloo is that women really do not feel secure in Delhi. Delhi has a different definition of ‘Lucky’- If you have traveled in Delhi, roamed around the streets and haven’t managed to get raped, you are LUCKY.

It does take me back- reflecting on the 8 years I have lived in Delhi as a single woman- how things have changed and how situations have forced to alter my priorities. Most of the other woman in Delhi will agree with me, We have all faced harassment- in some form or the other. Incidences have taught us how not to stand facing the men’s side seats while travelling in a bus, how to pretend fake conversations on phone while commuting in an auto late evening, being pestered by well-wishers to carry pepper spray, to keep an eye on all men walking beside us on the streets and beware of any negative signals.

I wanted to experience my share of late night movies, funky parties, crazy night-outs, late night dinners and I did. But on not less than 10 occasions out of these, I did feel threatened. I realized I was chased, another time a car blocked my taxi, I heard men screaming out rates to take me home, leave apart the zillion times when they would stare at me and hold their gaze like some hungry bastards. But I have not been raped yet- Perhaps I am lucky and blessed.

I heard pretty much everyone with a mouth, giving me advice- what not to wear, when not to step out, and how not to be loud in public places lest I attract attention, to avoid eye contact. I didn’t want to be armed, I didn’t want to go and learn self defense. All I wanted was to feel safe and not feel Jerry-like continuously living in the fear of Tom chasing and attacking me.

7 years down- I am still in Delhi. The situation hasn’t improved by an inch. It has rather gotten worse. I have had to learn- the art of surviving. I rather call friends for house parties or visit their houses than go out to a pub. I’d rather be ‘safe’ than go for that fun. I don’t give a second thought asking any of my guy friends to drop me home when I am late. I’d rather be ‘safe’ than hesitate asking favors. I reserve my dresses only to be worn at at huge get-togethers. I’d rather be ‘safe’ than wear what I like.

I have been forced to adjust in all these years, each time giving away a part of the freedom I would rather have enjoyed. I have missed out on many things that I otherwise would have loved doing. But then I made a choice to be ‘safe’ than sorry. I was forced to make this choice. I am a ‘LUCKY’ woman who has managed to lived in Delhi without yet having been raped !! @samta09



One thought on “I haven’t yet been raped- I am Lucky

  1. yes!!! you definitely are lucky…in this society with high estrogen!!!! Also, people who tell us that we invite rape, by wearing revealing clothes or by moving out late in the night…should get hold of some statistics…between, even those who choose to wear what they want, do not move around with a banner saying “come rape me”…….

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